Social Media’s Self Sufficiency Messaging can be Toxic

The Problem:

I’ve seen a lot of messages across social media that are some version of “you have to do it on your own” or “girls gotta do it for themselves”

The *IT* being anything from figuring out your career, building a biz, navigating relationships, to hitting reset after life sends you a curveball etc. 

The latest message spouted “It’s on YOU to get YOU where YOU need to be” and you know what??? There are straws, and there are camels and there are backs! (10 pts to anyone who gets that movie reference 😂, comment below if you know it)

That last message really frosted my pickle. And I gotta say that it sends a harmful message about how to actually succeed in life. It sets people up to feel like a failure when they’re struggling while working alone. And it sets up a shame cycle that prevents them from reaching out for help.  👎🏼👎🏼 Two thumbs down.

My Hot Take:

I agree that you are responsible for yourself and that other people/companies aren’t always going to have your back. Trust me, I know. I could tell you about the time my entire department, at 130% billable, was sacked while I was on vacation, but I digress. While I agree you have to be ready to do the work, I steadfastly do not believe you have to navigate through life’s big changes, opportunities and choices alone. 

Chasing your dreams and struggling on your own is not necessary. In fact it sucks, 1 star, I do not recommend. Getting help and guidance are some of the smartest things you can do for yourself; a lesson it took me a chunk of time to learn. So I hope you get comfortable with getting help faster than I did. 

It took me a decade, some therapy, lots of reading (check out my top picks here) and a few different life coaches and business coaches to be ready to step onto the path to my dreams. So I know what it’s like to be where you are. To daydream of the future but feel tied to your present because it’s secure and at least you know what you’re dealing with. 

The fact is, it’s hard to let go of the known and follow that path to your dreams. Here’s another fact - you can do hard things. 

So what do you do??

If you’re at a point where you’re thinking “How do I change my life?” or you know you need to make changes - big or small - and you’re scared to get started, I get it. It’s scary af to choose the unknown, to go after your dreams, blaze your own trail. But if that’s where you’re standing right now, at your personal crossroads try this:

>>ACTIVITY<<

Envision a future where you believe in yourself, you’ve let go of your fears and you’re building and living a life you’re excited to get into every day! See it. Feel it. Drink it all in. Do this envisioning as often as you need to so you’re energized by your dreams.

That tingle of excitement...that’s your dreams getting pumped up to get out in the world. Whatever your dreams are, whatever it is that gets your excitement flowing that’s probably a really awesome path to follow. And you don’t have to take your first, 10th, or even 1000th step alone. There are all sorts of guides and help for you along the way. 

I took the ‘Choose your own Adventure” path to get the support I needed - you can too. Trying a bunch of different support options and finding what works for you is the BEST solution - cookie-cutter solutions rarely cut it. For some of you, it will be finding an online community, others will find support and direction from astrology or tarot, and others still will find a coach to help guide them on their specific journey. Whatever it is for you I want you to feel empowered to go out and get it. That’s strong! That’s bold! And that’s actually the way a true boss gets shift done.

If all this sounds great but you’re not sure where to start, check out a couple of my freebie worksheets to help you get started on the path to figuring out what you want your dream life to be.

To keep up with other ‘hot takes’ and tips for making big and lasting changes join my shift happens community.

And since you read this far I’ll give you a hint on the movie quote…google Paul Gross & Leslie Nielsen 🧹

Stay awesome friends.

- Amy 💕